I have observed a flaw in my elected challenge: so much of my to-do is stuff I’m already partways familiar with. Let’s have a look at that list again, as it first appeared.
Daredevil by Bendis, Maleev and Hollingsworth Volumes 2-6
Fantastic Four by Lee and Kirby Omnibus Volume 1
Iron Man by Michelinie, Layton and Romita Jr. Volume 1
The Amazing Spider-Man by Lee and Ditko Omnibus Volume 1
Total Recall – Arnold Schwarzenegger
Supergods – Grant Morrison
The World’s End (and extras)
Tomb Raider (PS4)
The Legend Of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (3DS)
The Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii)
New Super Luigi U (Wii U)
OK, by category, 3/4 of the comics I’ve read before, I’ve not read either of the books, I’ve seen The World’s End in the cinema and played Tomb Raider on PS3. That leaves us with the two Zelda games, the Luigi DLC and the books to tide me over ’til the end of the month, discounting things that I’ve already… wait for it… GOT WHAT I PAID FOR OUT OF!
Here’s the thing about Skyward Sword. I’ve felt beholden to it since November 2011, when it was first released and I unloaded a serious amount of games to pay for it at a time when I absolutely as literally as you can understand it could not have afforded it otherwise. I tried to play it in the spacious living room of my Crewe apartment, and I couldn’t get past the awkwardness of the controls and, though I’m ashamed to admit it, the quality of its two-gens-ago graphics. I soon sold it (again – poverty!), and later rebought it with some leftover exchange credit, and again it sat for over a year, unplayed because I knew, I knew, that I didn’t want to play it.
Still, I recovered my Wii U today from the paws of my Mario Kart-addicted brar earlier today and as I’m accustomed to doing decided to give the game another chance, as I’m often too decisively critical of things and was prepared to really try at it. I even, hand to God, booked a week off work with playing this game as a major reason for doing so. As I loaded the fresh batteries into the still-snazzy golden Zelda Wiimote, I was hopeful, despite the fact that the room I currently play games in is about a sixth of the size of the one I had in Crewe and the game demanding a modicum more space thanks to its 1:1 control scheme.
Skip from now to then and the game’s on Ebay. I tells ya, this month’s really seen me cut loose from this bizarre sense of obligation I have towards inanimate material objects. Fuck Skyward Sword for two perfectly good reasons – it looks awful on an HD television and the controls feel terrible. I’m so glad the Wii U’s presence on the Nintendo Innovation Scale is closer to the Gamecube (just having small discs) than the Wii’s awful enfucked motion-sensing controls, because I swear being able to relax when playing games on the Wii only ever came to me by a total fluke. Caveat – Resident Evil 4 played the best on Wii, but all that really entailed was pointing. The pair of Mario Galaxy games – my favourite two, by the way – also saw restrained use of the Wiimote’s abilities, and when they did use it, it was ruinous. Remember those tilt-the-ball screamfests, chums? Then, as the console’s last hurrah, they figured ‘let’s go the WHOLE OTHER WAY’ and build the game around a total and absolute gimmick. If it was so important to their remit, where did it go when the Wii U – which has the same name as their previous console – debuted? Simple. They realised just how many people it put off playing what more dedicated fans were apparently able to appreciate as one of the best Zelda titles ever.
And that’s what annoyed me. There was enough in my brief encounter with Skyward Sword to enjoy, particularly as someone who counts The Wind Waker amongst my top, say, three games. The music is there, the local weirdos are there. But better than that, Zelda is really fucking cool in it. I cared about her. I wanted to make sure she was alright, and not because it might mean the end of the world if I didn’t. She wasted no time in diving off that plateau for me, after all. And she played the harp and wasn’t so much this WOW A PRINCESS as just my cool childhood friend.
And I can’t play it because my poor brain is just set to “no” when it comes to everything about how it plays. Mentally, I’m just constantly pushing at it. Apparently, Nintendo considered adapting it for Wii U before settling on Wind Waker, and if it ever does get the HD treatment I’ll give it a third try, but that’s IT, Nintendo! Last shot!
On a related front, I’ve also been dabbling with Tomb Raider on PS4 and I’ve a bone to pick with that title, too – what the fuck happened to Lara? On PS3, she was an unremarkably-pretty teenage girl dropped into this enormous, terrifying adventure, and as someone who’s never been able to ‘get’ Tomb Raider before I was immediately and totally on her side the whole way through. PS4 Lara, though, is fuller of cheek (both counts) and brighter of eye, and she looks less like a person – with thoughts, fears etc. – than just a character in a videogame. It’s a lot harder digging Tomb Raider on PS4 because its Lara feels a lot more like the Lara that you used to see on posters and in lads’ mags and all that shit. Other than that, the game looks and plays amazing, but every time an FMV rolls around, yechhh. No.
Also, I tried playing the first two levels of Super Luigi U, and I suck at it (even though I 100%-ed New Super Mario U in no time), so I’m discounting it from the list because I simply don’t fancy the challenge. Give me harder levels as Mario and I’d be down for it, but I just have no time for that Luigi control scheme.
So here’s the list as it remains following this cathartic THAT’S-why-not-ening:
Fantastic Four by Lee and Kirby Omnibus Volume 1 IN PROGRESS
The Amazing Spider-Man by Lee and Ditko Omnibus Volume 1*
Total Recall – Arnold Schwarzenegger IN PROGRESS
Supergods – Grant Morrison
The World’s End (and extras)*
Tomb Raider (PS4)* IN PROGRESS
The Legend Of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (3DS)
I figure it’s also worth mentioning I have some unwatched digital content which I’m working through but didn’t exactly pay for (in the same way that if I still had my Netflix subscription, I wouldn’t feel like I had to watch everything on it because of G(I)WYPF.)
How this is organised – just for sharesies! – is that it is first downloaded via my laptop and immediately renamed. Here, it goes into a transfer-to-the-PS3-folder as well as its respective folder on my 2TB external if it’s the sort of thing I want to have to watch again. Then it’s transferred to the PS3 and deleted from the transfer-to folder. Once it’s been watched from the PS3, it’s deleted from there, but remains on the hard drive, out of sight.
Here’s a breakdown of my naming habits -
FILMS – Films are the simplest with just the film and its year, like: Star Wars (1977). Some files are larger than the PS3 can handle and need split in two, in which case they are suffixed with letters from the alphabet post-parentheses, ie: Star Wars (1977) a.
TV – All TV is divided into one of two overall folders – Television and Cartoons. A television episode works like [NAME OF SERIES] – [SEASON NUMBER, single digit].[EPISODE NUMBER, double digits] – [EPISODE NAME] – (YEAR OF BROADCAST), so the first episode of Batman looks like: Batman – 1.01 – On Leather Wings (1992). Each season is in its own folder, and season-specific extra features are in a sub-folder therein.
Wrestling – Wrestling is trickier because of the formats, but the easiest way to organise it is by date, like [NAME OF COMPANY] – [DATE IN YYYY.MM.DD FORMAT] – [NAME OF SHOW], so that an April ’99 Raw will look like: WWE – 1999.04.01 – Raw and that month’s PPV would be: WWE – 1999.04.30 – Backlash. Documentaries work like [TITLE OF PRODUCT] – [DISC NUMBER] (YEAR), so: Ladies And Gentlemen, My Name Is Paul Heyman – Disc 1 (2014). Each year is divided into its own folder within the company folder, and other types of files (wrestler profiles and compilations) are in their own folders.
Standup and music I haven’t quite figured out yet. For music, I’d like to include date of performance and venue but that gets cloudy with those 90s-style compilation tapes. Standup I have so little of I’m not sure why I haven’t done it yet. Documentaries are treated identically to films, but in their own folder.
Man, that felt like researching proper referencing for my dissertation.
The current list includes the last two seasons of 30 Rock and Futurama, the first of Digimon, a number of films (including Mama, which I’m too afraid to watch EVER but still haven’t deleted), all of Justice League (in HD!), the first season of The Twilight Zone (which I’m considering re-buying on Blu just to rip myself) and a handful of Power Rangers episodes (Green With EVIL!) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ones.
And that, friends, is what a fuckload of fuckin’ words looks like!
READ SWEET TOOTH!